Student Dreams of Basketball Genie
Brian Heim
In the dead of night Edward Richter, a freshman, woke up in Hinton James at approximately 4:35 AM.
“I was sleeping naked, as usual, when I woke up with my dick crammed into my pillow. To be honest I was fucking surprised –I almost had a heart attack when I realized I wasn’t actually having sex with Michael Jordan.”
Suffering from a bout of what disease cryptozoologists from NC State are referring to as Spacejamitis, fourteen documented cases of this disease have happened at UNC since Michael Jordan led the bulls to their second Three-peat in 1998.
“Sometimes I wake up in the middle of the night with a raging boner, just wondering if Michael Jordan has ever stepped into my suite. It’s a disease. The first step is supposedly admitting you have a problem, but I’d argue that there’s a certain whimsical, gift-like magic to the situation.”
